The Art of Pickup Lines

Somehow, no one on Zachlogic here has written an article about one of the most well known crap ways of "picking-up women" (or men, I'm not trying to discriminate). A lot of the time, they work (somehow), but not in the way they're supposed to. In this here article, I'm going to go into depth about how it is that pick up lines work.

STEP ONE: Finding the write ones

First, you have to acquire just the right pick up lines for just the right girls (or guys, again, not trying to discriminate). Once you have enough, I would normally recommend knowing about 50 - 75 just in case, then you find your target and you move onto step 2. Before we move on, though, you need to make sure that the pick up lines won't scare the target away, and they won't get grossed out. So you need to find the right ones that will make them think that you are a sweet innocent person, not the creepy guy (or girl) that you are who stays up on their school computer until 11:00 o'clock looking for the right pick up lines.

STEP TWO: Execution

You can't just go up to someone and go "You must be one heck of a thief, cuz you stole my heart from across the room", oops well, that's one of the ones that WILL work if you do that, but that's later in this step. If it is just an average pick up line that didn't take too long to find, you have to work in into a normal conversation. Here's an example. "So did you here about Bing suing McDonalds?" "No, but is your body from McDonalds, cuz I'm loving it", or "So did you here about Bing suing McDonalds?" "No, but is your name Google? Cuz YOU have everything I'M searching for". Those were some examples of how to work it in, but if you're a pro, and you find the best ones, you can lead with it, like "You could fall from the sky, you could fall from a tree, but the best way to fall, is in love with me".

STEP 3: Response

This is the hardest bit. You have to determine whether they thought it was good, a joke, or if they absolutely thought it was offensive and want to pound your not-so-innocent face in. If it looks like throat punch Thursday for a special someone, my best suggestion would be to get the heck out of there, but if it seems like a light or positive reaction, then just stand there, give the kind of smokey eyes, and nod ONCE. That is a crucial detail, cuz the over nod could give the over confidence vibe, and you don't want that. You could even say that they might feel a slight double attack, and generally, you only want the precise, single hit.

This has been The Art of Pick-up Lines

Qrious Idiot out